Phoenix Suns

Marion's Mulling

2006-04-27T22:52:00.000-07:00

Kobe or Not Kobe

Kobe or not Kobe: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the body to suffer
The elbow swings and 13-point games,
Or disappear in the sea of purple haze,
And by relenting, end it? To vanish; to escape;
No more; and by disappearing to say we leave
That hot seat and thousand press releases
That the Sons are heir to, 'tis a disappearance
Desperately to be wish'd.
They've said I've vanished,they've said I've escaped;
Escaped perchance to get laid: ay, there's a good rub;
To go Forward in this glorious season,
Only to be one and one with little help from this 31.
I choose not to wane, so I shall board that plane;
And pray my boys may set me up; ah but there's my dependence
That breeds the calamity of thereof and one.
For who would bear the cheap shots from Kobe;
Save but men from the leading offense.
And since subs of great measure be welded to a bench by ice;
I will rise and go Forward with my fellow foreign men.

Through the Eyes of Kobe

2006-04-21T14:05:00.000-07:00

Stopping By Phoenix on a Sunny Day

Whose trophy this is I think I know
They wear white in the Valley though;
We will not phase them playing here
As they cream us 4 and O.

My little team must think it queer
To stop with Nash, Marion and an Eddiehouse near.
Between a cactus and dried-up lake
The highest-scoring team of the year.

Diaw gives Raja's bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
"We must decrease the head of Kobe
Before we play Duncan and Ginobili."

The only outcome is a sweep;
at least my deal's the size of Moby.

Arizona girls are lovely, tan and deep.
But I have a reputation to keep
And miles to go before I weep,
And miles to go before I weep.

-Kobe

Black Jesus

2006-03-25T23:24:00.000-07:00

I was celebrating last Thursday after Amaré’s incredible return. Naturally, I was having some wine, so I saved a draft of my blog post instead of publishing it. Here is a snippet of what would have been my commentary:

I was being pushy at the recent celebrity basketball game because I wanted to get good footage for ASU NewsWatch. Feel free to bump our viewership up to 31 by watching the broadcast. As I was invading Amaré Stoudemire’s personal space, which I certainly didn't mind doing, I noticed that he has tattoos on both sides of his neck. The left side says, “Lord Knows.”

The Lord may very well know, but we humans often struggle to understand how an oversized black man can get $70 million for sitting on a bench during 66 games (in actuality, you would pay close to that for having courtside seats). Then, on Thursday night, Amaré was resurrected. He racked up 20 points and nine rebounds in 19 minutes. Nine of his points were scored within the first five minutes! Portland trailed a ways behind as Phoenix won 125-108.

I continued the religious parody by elaborating on the parallel I drew between Jesus and Amaré. The difference? Amaré didn't rise for long… well that, and Jesus probably didn’t wear a du-rag. Did I mention that his other tattoo reads, “Black Jesus”?

After three games, his knee wasn't the only thing that was entombed. The Suns beat the Pacers tonight, but I expected that, given that Indiana is fourth in their division at 35-35, and Phoenix still reigns as FIRST in the Pacific Division. This has been a tough road trip, but this little team has the heart and resilience to prey on their next victims. That, and the Raptors are 26-45. Poor Bryan.

Sarver's Snafu

2006-03-02T23:35:00.000-07:00

The temperature is not the only thing heating up this week in the valley of the sun. Marion is on fire with career highs in both points and rebounds. He was rightly named as the NBA's player of the month on Wednesday, which may have provided further justification for D'Antoni's chronic smiling habit. His fixed smile is understandable, given that he was recently named Western Conference Coach of the Month after leading the Suns to their eighth consecutive win.

This phenomenal winning streak is a direct result of Robert Sarver's managing skills, right? Wrong. However, he says he wants to create an "organization of sustained success." How? Perhaps by single-handedly removing all of the key players (starting at the top), he thinks he can crawl out from under the namesake. The Colangelo's are largely responsible for molding this team. It's as if Sarver extracted a vital part of the foundation....the heart of the team. Where are the journalists with hard-hitting questions? Why are they all saying Bryan Colangelo "severed ties" when Sarver did not lift a finger, or a dollar of Bryan's salary for that matter, to stop him from leaving. I'm just happy he didn't decide on February's player and coach of the month awards.

So that's my ridiculously slanted viewpoint but feel free to decide for yourself. You can see him discuss the matter during the halftime report at http://aol.nba.com/suns/.

Finger-Licking Goodness

2006-02-23T22:05:00.000-07:00

I'll admit that Steve Nash did not use all of his superhuman powers against the Celtics last night. I heard many people claiming that he was "slacking," or "not lookin' so hot." For those of you who were simply repeating these one-liners verbatim...remember that sports highlights are generally spoken by men (yes, only men) who have received favors of monetary value. Acting as journalists, sports reporters and anchors must present an unbiased perspective. Naturally, they have to scramble to find a single game, wherein Steve Nash may not have a record-breaking night, and expose his momentary flaw.

If you actually believed what I just said, then take a look at Highlight's of Steve Nash, because the man is flawless. Now, if you want to see something that will have you flipping your hair and licking your fingers too, watch his incredible Kick It Commercial.

I focused on Nash because, one, I'm borderline obsessed with the man's athletic ability, and two, my professor said I would receive extra credit for including a video link. Extra credit in a college course is about as common as a Cardinal's winning streak. I only had one option, and I could think of nothing but latter video.

I would, however, like to mention Shawn Marion's career-high scoring game of 44 points. At the risk of being ridiculously cliché, Marion and Nash truly are a dynamic duo. Boris Diaw’s nine rebounds, combined with his 21 points, were a large part of their 103-94 victory over the Celtics. Coming out of their fifth straight victory, the Suns will face Charlotte at 7 p.m. on Saturday. Oh, and they're currently last in their division.

Limp Red Rockets

2006-02-16T23:12:00.000-07:00

It is apparent that not all Arizonans share my passion for the Phoenix Suns. Having a looming deadline on a game night means I have to write between plays. Since subtlety isn't my finest quality when discussing the Suns, I will unhesitatingly point out that they are the NBA's highest scoring team. At the close of the third quarter against the Rockets, the Suns are leading 98-53, and six of our players are in double figures. It is borderline wrong. They are rapidly approaching their fourth consecutive win, after last night's win against Denver.

Well, the final score is in, and at 109-75, the Suns left the Rockets with cheeks to complement their jerseys. It was obvious that the Suns simply couldn't control their shit-eating grins. One couldn't help but notice the Rockets laughing at their own pitiful performance, as if to ease the pain. I wonder if Yao Ming will get any grief from Nash and Marion as they suit up together for the 2006 All-Star weekend, which begins tomorrow. Oh, and this is the only weekend I will ever condone rooting for Kobe Bryant.

A Benchmark Season

2006-02-09T22:32:00.000-07:00

Technically speaking, Steve Nash is second only to Kobe Bryant. Leading the NBA in assists, it is certainly understandable why Nash would allow his L.A. counterpart to take the lead. I would argue that he is second to none, considering the fact that he only goes to high schools to perform community service. Ranking first in their division, the Suns have certainly defied the odds this season. Amare Stoudemire, clad in diamonds, has been sitting in his $70,000,000 courtside seat all season alongside Grant Hill and other phenomenal players, who have only been able to work the bench. With a heavy, yet well-dressed sideline, Nash, Marion, House, the one-armed Irish man and Barbosa, of late, have more than overcome long road trips, back-to-back games and unjust calls (not that I am singling out the game-altering final call against the Timberwolves).

Why I love Steve Nash...

2006-01-26T15:19:00.000-07:00

The man's skill is unparalled.